A couple of stories from life here in Changsha...

I bleached it...
So, the very first night I was here in Changsha, I saw a very large roach in my dining area. It ran under the refrigerator, and I couldn't find it anywhere. I was a little freaked, to be honest, and creeped out by the thought of the thing. It was big, brown and, as Levi would say, "yucky". I kept an eye out for it, but it didn't materialize. Even after I moved the refrigerator I didn't see it.
Not too long after I moved its would-be home, the roach re-appeared. It showed up in my bathroom back in the corner where the walls come together under the sink (the sink's pipes are exposed). Looking around frantically for something with which to kill it, all I could find was some bleach... so, I bleached it. I "threw" a bunch of bleach out of the bottle and in the general direction of the roach. Then, I ran to get the mop to kill it, but by the time I got back it was gone. Now I'm keeping my eyes open for a white-speckled roach!

Deep Fried for Free
Here in "the 'Sha" there are lots of places with food on sticks. They're these little shops with tofu, hot dogs, steamed buns, veggies, and other things, all on sticks. When you buy them, they drop them in a vat of hot oil and fry them for you. When they pull them out, they paint them in spicy la jiao and hand them to you to walk an eat. (Incidentally, picture a long toothpick that you're eating off of-- why not walk down the uneven sidewalk, where you could trip and fall, with a toothpick in your mouth? Ouch!)
So the other night my teammate and I stopped at a food-on-a-stick place b/c she hadn't eaten dinner. She grabbed some of the stuff mentioned above, and I asked for a banana that had been breaded with an unknown substance... anything "unknown" is at least worth a try, right?! So we chatted with the sellers of the food on sticks, and the young man mentioned that we speak very standard Chinese. (In the South, people often speak with a heavy accent, but we're learning to speak standard Chinese in class.) Then, the two sellers talked for a bit in Changsha Hua, or Changsha language, which neither of us can understand. When our food was finished, they pulled it out, handed it to us (fortunately skipping the spicy stuff on the banana), and we asked how much it was. "Song gei ni," the boy said. That means, we're giving it to you for free. What?! No... but they wouldn't take a fen (a penny) for the food. They were just happy to help a couple foreigners with good Chinese!

Tutor Time
Today I met with my tutor for about 3 hours of class. We spent most of the time chatting in Chinese, which is something I haven't had many chances to do lately. The words we looked up include: skull, poppy, kidney, slingshot and galbladder. Yep... those all have connection, right?

Culture notwithstanding...

This week we've been doing team building-- concentrated times of team together-ness, answering questions and getting to know each other. Describe your teammate with 3 adjectives from this list.... go! Today, we'll have a conversation about conflict resolution. Should be good.

I look at myself 5 years after first coming to China, and I seem to be different. I feel different! More laid back or relaxed about some things, having difficulty with some things that haven't been easy since the beginning; I wonder if they ever will be! More able to ask questions, think critically, and use right methods to protect myself and my team. Still having major failings in some areas.

For the past 2 years, I have seen the Father changing me. It's amazing to watch yourself change, almost from the outside looking in, but that's what I've seen. Now, looking at my 3 teammates, I am beginning to see some of the reasons why. Thanks, Dad, for working on my heart so I could love these girls better! (And thanks for that great Xinjiang food last night, too!)

China continues to be a vortex-- it sucks you in, and you never look at the same world again. A friend of mine, a Korean girl, was placed in a dormitory room with an American roommate. They've no common language, no common cultural or Belief-oriented points, and before we sat down to dinner, I had a list of questions to ask-- how were the cultures blending? How is she different from you? How are you compromising and working together? Much as I suspected, they weren't.

All this team building stuff on conflict resolution-- soft start-ups, compromise, implosion/explosion... I've read it all, I want to put it into practice, but what do I do when my partner is not only not trained in it, but also has a cultural background that says direct communication is too much; it's too direct, for lack of a better term?

You see, in Korea, indirect communication and good actions are cultural ideals. My Korean friend said she'll slowly stop talking and interacting with her roommate. Eventually, the American roommate will know something's wrong and change her actions. (Note: not "we'll address it verbally then" but "the American will change her actions".) She'll change to stop hurting my feelings. Unfortunately, the American probably can't hear that form of indirect communication.
The American friend says she cares for and even "loves" (as a friend) the Korean roommate, but in Korea, your actions, not your words, tell people you love them. The American's actions say, "I don't care one iota for you." Ouch. The words and the actions are at direct odds with one another. Which one should the Korean friend believe??

So what do we, the culturally direct, words not actions people do in this case? How can we show Love?

You see, Americans are known in many areas of the world for being unbendably "American" in what we do and say, how we treat people, and how we live. But how are we called, as Followers, to treat people? To treat people the way they want to be treated? I'll not give all my thoughts here, but I hope to hear some of yours. What do you think? When should we bend to the culture, and when should we not? Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.