Don't act like you know me!

"Don't act like you know me!"

I heard somebody say that the other day. I don't remember who it was or the context... it might have been at the bus stop. But it left me thinking about so many things. I've been mulling this post over in my mind for a while, and it's finally coming to the "page" now. I hope it makes sense.

Recently I've talked to a few of my more introverted friends about communication styles. I, being a "verbal processor" and more extroverted, find communicating verbally really important. I enjoy banter; I like hearing/telling stories; and I like asking questions. I learned from good friends of mine (through their amazing examples) that one of the best ways to get to know a person is through asking questions and listening well. So, I try to make a practice of doing so.

What struck me with my introverted friends is that they rarely asked questions back. We got to talking about this... and if you want to know more, just ask. But it's not the topic I'll be covering here.

What got me thinking is this: while one often has to draw out an introvert, it is uncommon to have to draw out an extrovert. We the verbal will tell stories unprompted. We share our thoughts (sometimes feelings) more freely. We can sometimes even be heard speaking stream of consciousness about our day.

And I think.... through all that talking, we give the illusion that we are easily known.

Think about it. How well, how deeply do you know the extroverts in your life? Really?

Now there are some who are easily known. In fact, they'll tell you their entire life story and medical history if you'll stay in the room long enough, sometimes whether you're listening or not! They are the "need to be knowns" among us.

And then there are those among us who long to be known, as anyone does, but will not tell much unless we're asked. And why? Because in the asking is an expression that you care about the answer. "Why would I tell you about the real me if you don't care enough to ask?" is the general idea.

Then I began wondering-- how well am I known? How well do so many of my friends (who think they know me because they hear my stories or receive my updates) know me? And how did our relationship (only?) reach that level? Do these people realize how little / how much they know of me?

Tonight I was driving home mulling all of this over for the umpteenth time... thinking through the situations again and asking all of these self-centered questions... and a song came on the radio.

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

Those are the questions to ask. What do I know of You -- not what do they know of me. If the only thing they know of me is You, that is enough.



Addison Road - "What Do I Know Of Holy"